the somewhat definitive guide to lil wayne’s poop lyrics

by lukaach

Lil Wayne takes many forms, as Weezy F. Baby, as Lil Tunechi, as a total burnout, as the rapper eater. He also regularly preaches his penchant for poop, that is, shitting on other rappers and his version of “True Life: I’m the Shit.”

Anatomically speaking though it seems like the other rappers would be the shit once he eats them, since he’s the rapper-eater. And one might wonder, is he eating the same rappers he’s shitting on? Or is he eating himself? It’s really a vicious, confusing cycle of meta fecal swag. Hard to understand for us earthlings.

So read on. Laugh. Cry. Feel generally disgusted. It’s Wayne’s Wonderful World of Waste.

Shawty Lo, “Dey Know” remix feat. Ludacris, Young Jeezy, Plies & Lil Wayne – “I am the shit/ and they are just poop stains”

TI feat. Lil Wayne, “Done It Now” – “And I am the shit/ I stay away from the poop scoop”

“A Milli” – “And I be the shit, now you got loose bowels”

These are some pretty elementary poop lines, all about life as “the shit.” One asserts that being the actual turd > being turd residue, another is a simple cause-and-effect revealing the day-to-day hazards as the shit, the last is just difficult to understand. Fear not; Weezy’s only just getting cozy on that porcelain throne.

“Money on my Mind” – “Dear Mr. Toilet, I’m the shit”

Something like Wayne’s version of “Everybody Poops.”

“Mr. Cater” feat. Jay-Z – “While ya’ll asshole niggas been on the same shit/ I flush and watch them go down the drain quick”

Here we find Wayne expelling lesser pieces of fecal matter down the hatch. He is truly a superior variety of turd.

“Gonorrhea” feat. Drake – “Yeah, you boys is washed up/ And I’m shitting on ’em like two girls and one cup”

“2 Girls 1 Cup” references ftw. But really the true shittee here was the listener when Wayne released the terrible “I Am Not a Human Being” “album” right after his prison stead, when he got right back to shitting on people. Good lookin, Weezy.

Tyga feat. Lil Wayne, “Faded” – “Prior to me coming, I had to stick my thumb in/ Her ass one time, smell my finger make you vomit”

Again with the poop residue… please keep your fingers to yourself. Though this sounds like a surefire way to force a thumb war forfeiture.

Drake feat. Lil Wayne, “I’m Goin In” – “Hello muthafucka, hey, hi, how ya durrn’?/ It’s Weezy F. Baby come to take a shit and urine/ On the toilet bowl bitches”

“Lollipop Remix” feat. Kanye West – “I flushed out the feeling of me being the shit/ Cause I was leaving skid marks on everywhere I sit”

I like to imagine that “Goin In” line is how Lil Wayne generally announces his presence. He would certainly be an awkward plus-one to you sister’s wedding. HE’S GOING TO SHIT. ON. EVERYTHING.

But seriously he might. See: that “Lollipop” line.

“We Be Steady Mobbin” feat. Gucci Mane – “Big house, long hallways/ got 10 bathrooms, I could shit all day, nigga!”

He would too. Can YOU shit all day? Didn’t think so. You wouldn’t believe the tenacity of sizzurp shits.

Give Weezy credit for managing a way to handle his excess shit issue.

“Wasted” – “Young Money baby, big shit like a horse ass”

Yeah well when Gudda Gudda’s around, I don’t doubt it’s a lot like a horse’s ass.

Drake feat. Lil Wayne, “Ignant Shit” – “Young Money in your tummy and we going shit/ And get that toilet paper quick like when Bones spit”

Some real Osmosis Jones shit here, and an ingenious way of acquiring the toilet paper. More YMCMB boasts – I’ll bet Nicki Minaj’s nose didn’t feel so good coming out.

“DOA” – “Loose bowels, this shit so easy”

RAP GAME 100% DAILY VALUE OF FIBER

“Back on My Grizzy” – “I could take a shit where I stand, where I stand/ And watch you pussies piss in your pants”

Uhh. There are really no words to describe this image.

“I’m Me” – “The only time I will depend is when I’m seventy years old/ That’s when I can’t hold my shit within, so I shit on myself/ Cause I’m so sick and tired of shitting on everybody else”

Ok all shit aside here (pun sort of intended), this is actually a pretty awesome line. This is Wayne in 50 years, tattoos stretchy, voice so croaky he sounds like the ghost from “The Grudge,” he’ll be sipping promethazine and Ensure with Drake. They’ll be shitting on themselves and sharing sweaters from Drake’s 2011 wardrobe. But only because he’s tired of shitting on everyone else.

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